I chose love over fear

G & S Cle Elum 2012It comes up a lot in Yoga-land…this theme of choosing “love over fear”. I hear it in classes, see it on my FB scroll, read about it in asana and meditation books. Five or six years ago, I might have inwardly sighed a ‘whatever’or refocused my attention elsewhere, onto a subject more shallow. Less scary.

But as I approach my wedding day, this idea of choosing love over fear is manifesting in the most awesome way. A way that, five or six years ago, I wouldn’t have believed possible. If someone told me that choosing love over fear would result in the level of joy I’m experiencing today I would have rolled my eyes and referred them to the stack of dusty self-help books I’d yet to open.

But now. Wow. I remember the day in July 2011 when the man I’d been dating for just a few months asked me to take a leap – literally across the country – and join him in Baltimore, where he accepted an exciting new position as CFO of a biotech company. My very first, gut reaction was a resounding YES. I LOVE this man. Go for it!

Then fear set in. I was still dealing with the embers of a previous marriage that failed. Still trying to get back on my feet financially and thanking God every day for keeping me employed with a wonderful, supportive company. Still relying on my siblings, parents, childhood friends to lend me their sleeve when tears threatened to burst forth. Still addicted to my Queen Anne Hill running route, my 6 AM power flow at BeLuminous Yoga, sipping cappuccinos at the little mosaic table in the window at Cafe Laddro.

To ditch all that? With no guarantee the relationship would last? With no job? No friends? No coping mechanism for the east coast humidity that is pretty much non-existent in the Pacific Northwest? I dunno…

marriagle licenseBut here’s the thing. I did know. I didn’t need a self-help book or enlightened teacher draped in mala beads to convince me of what my heart already knew. I knew this relationship was going to work. I knew this man loved me deeply, unconditionally, and was taking every bit as much a leap of faith as me by creating a life together.

And here we are. In Greater Philly. About to seal an exciting future together on Wednesday, July 2, 2014. Mark the date. And may my story convince you to choose love over fear.

You’ll be glad you did.

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3 thoughts on “I chose love over fear

  1. So true and so much freedom in letting go! Congrats to you and Greg – we are so happy for you both! Randy and I will be celebrating 17 years of marriage on July 1st! Scariest and best thing I EVER did.

  2. Love is so much more fun than fear, yes? Hope you continue to find your heart’s contentment–you rate it big time!

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